Nuralya's Journey

Hari Raya embraces in sadness

2011-09-02T02:42:00.000-07:00

It has been awhile since the last time I blogged. Life had been so hard for the past few months. A lot of crises had happened which was beyond my understand. Most of the time I would feel pressure but I was numb. How should I react? How may I handle it? My sister kept on spurring hating words because she was feeling deep anguish and sadness for our mother. On the first of day of 'Raya', our mother called and wished us 'Happy Raya'. It was a varieties of reaction from simple smile to crying tears of longing for her presence. Regardless of this pain and sorrow that had befallen upon us. We will continue to remain strong and stay patience for Allah swt sake because we believe in Allah swt that things happened for reasons that Allah swt alone knows more. So, we remain faithful and believe strongly for Allah swt. We pray for guidance towards Allah swt.

Heart Dilemma immerse as a one-winged butterfly

2010-07-05T02:37:00.000-07:00

Random things had occurred yesterday and I tried to do it step by step and slowly but it ended up caused me to quoted, "Seal my lips my lips with a butterfly kiss". There was a problem and she ask the 'why' question and I cannot bring myself to confront it cause I may end up having a nervous break down.

Then the results of the acceptance to study at the institution is so long to get the reply and I am so nerve-wary because I REMEMBER like it was a yesterday that if I were to quit I should inform this matter to Sir in a month advance but I had not inform yet. Every time, I look at the office's door it made me feel like a marshmallow gone expired that had been eaten and caused the stomach to grumble horribly as if it was contain full of poisonous flurry hop-hop 'PRE-butterflies'.

My father had been transfered to Belait and time is like the pace of a caterpillar since it caused me to behave so unusual and weird at the office. Yesterday, it was a blast and strange and everyone was hectic and sir was bore because he sweep the floor, he watched a bit Indonesian drama, he read my newspaper, he was texting away while all of us were doing the 'repeated roundabout just no exit' routine. I should mentioned this, he read my newspaper twice and I am asking myself what was the point of mention this.

P.S I am still on the road of becoming a true muslimah and my heart is always remembering Allah and Nabi Muhammad.

P.P.S I had finally bought the 2 books of 'JALAN KEMULIAAN AHLI SUFI'.

Gleam's of A White Butterfly

2010-06-28T23:05:00.000-07:00

Time 2.09 pm, I was at yayasan on the net listening to the verse that was being recited beautifully by the young child and later I listen to the Ramadan song and again I was feeling so breetheless. I kept on asking myself why I neglected my duties as a muslim again and again. The cycle kept on repeating and I need to stop doing this mistakes. So, with guidance of Allah I shall change my attitude and never give in into those negative whisphering. While I was making a conviction, out of blue there flown softly and drifing downwards upon my eye level was the white butterfly. I know this may sound strange, I sense this is hidayat by Allah and I sincerely believe that regardless the transition I will have to carry out my responsibility as a muslim and an iman. I need to nurture to the goodwill of Allah. Therefore, I need to stop being a fool, stop creating lies upon myself and others and stop pretending and most important of all I am a muslim and my religion is Islam and there is only one god, Allah.

Shock...Shock... Hello Sir

2010-06-28T17:58:00.000-07:00

Today, I am suppose to have my off-day and I should be at home to have a relaxing time. However, I am at the library and on the net doing a posting about my day.

Therefore, early in the morning according to my watch, it was 8.35 am I arrived at the office and greet the nice security guy and told him I'm on off-day. Now, that was not making sense at all since I was suppose to be elsewhere then at my work. Well, technically, I forgotten to inform my guardian about it. Ha...Ha... I am hopeless.

Then sharply at 8.42 am my boss had arrived and automatically I greed him and I was not sure if he know I was on a holiday and he was sort of waiting for me to enter the elavator. I felt like it was my fault that I should be straight forward about it.

Well, after I greet him, I had immediately left the building while he was waiting for the elavator to open. Then I walked, then I jogged, then I hummed a melodious verse from doa then after a few minutes I arrived at the library which according to my watch was 8.55 am.

One more thing, this was second time it happened when I arrived at the same time with the boss and he was wearing the same black T-shirt. However, there were missing or different elements between that day and today which were I was working but came late and he was eating snack.

Therefore, I concluded that life is full circle and Allah is all knowing about the world that I am living in.

P.S I will trasure this strange unique moemory and I pray to Allah that I will live happily in earth and heaven. Amin.

Heart Harmonize Beats

2010-06-26T08:23:00.000-07:00

There are times that I cannot stand the notion of naive non believers and there are times I felt disappointed with some muslim for their ignorant. My heart beats frantic when it heard about the dirty politics happened at the middle east for example the divides of muslims because of the different school of practise. My heart sadden over the unfair treatment of our brothers and sisters in the Europe. Then my heart ache because of the stupidity of 'particular' western artist in trying to promote Islam but it just humiliation for us because the message was distort.

There are times my heart beat with a gentle stroke because of the melodious voice of a person who recited the Al Quran and there are times it beats steadily with the rhythms and flow of the voice. When the heart heard of life real stories about people finding the light and Allah then it gives soft jog. The hearts will squeal beat by beat if it hears humour of the domestic lifestyle of a home school mother. If hilarity occur thus the heart strive forward with excite joy.

My brother and I had experienced an event that we shared and witness the sun situated at the center of a circular rainbow. My heart beat frantic because of the strange phenomenon. It may not be of much importance to an outsider. However, in my perception that I can sense Allah creation and it caused my heart to hop excitingly. It made me realize that time is precious and do not waste it away in useless ventures. Tonight, I told my brother that I shall accomplish my responsible as a true muslimah and I mark with my heart that it belong to Allah. And the heart inside responded with sincere gentle beat.

P.S I told my brother have faiths and belief in Allah and our is religion Islam and my heart sings harmoniously.

Articulate My tomorrow

2010-06-23T03:59:00.000-07:00

This is a strange way of stating about my day. Today I found a blog about love. So, what's the purpose of doing this again. Actually, the answer is just being random. I was bored so just randomly search in the net to amuse me. It was just by chance that I found it. Then again I had ways of finding interesting stuff like a particular 'Islam' love book.

Speaking of love, yesterday I had borrowed a book about love where the discussion of love is put within the perceptions of Islam. Sadly, the language is a bit odd when it was noticed by the sibling that it was wording in 'Indonesian malay'. Go figure, but I have to admit the author used a lot of poems for each chapter so at least the enjoyment would be joyful.

Next time, with enough capital I will buy the continuation books of 'Sufi' which happened to be book 2 and book 3. Hopefully there will be stock left cause I am concern that I will never get the chance. The reason is that I want to re-educate my understand of Islam since I never went to a religious school so lacking a lot. Then I will ask assistance from brother to teach the basics. I was planning to look for a private religious teacher. Hopefully, I pray to Allah for guidance in my search of a patience and sincere teacher since I need lots of help. I pray again in Allah to ensure that my love for knowledge is pure and I heartily did because of Allah.

I was planning to buy a new phone so that I could put Islam themes and listen to lots of 'dzikir'. In a way that my heart will always find that inner peace and hopefully I will have that ability to 'dzikir' then I be one happy camper indeed. Seriously, I will one day able to understand Al Quran deeply. It is long road and the progress shall be slow but with Allah guidance I shall be a true Muslimah and never give up in walking this journey to live happily in earth and heaven.

Priorities:Work or Study?

2010-06-22T01:46:00.000-07:00

I am enjoying my work and getting concern about whether to work or study. There comes a time I am questioning myself if I am happy about my work. Then again I should not be asking questions about this. I am still awaiting the results from Itb whether or not I am being accept. It is alright to know this things way ahead then I can the best course of action of what to do. I shall stop here for.

P.S Just cause I am working does not mean I cannot learn on my own.
P.P.S I will attain a pure knowledge in Islam. Amin.

Undergo Major Changes in Life

2010-06-22T00:20:00.000-07:00

I am going to be reborn (in a literature sense) and I would not lose my objective in realizing them. I have my shortcomings and struggling to achieve them but mark my action that I will become a better person and the time has come for me to wake up and realize that I cannot live in a fantasy nor in a dream that is nothing but an illusion to hide my insecurities.

OBJECTIVES:
1) Strengthen my basics in Islam
2) Deepen my knowledge academically
3) Seeking knowledge because of Allah

P.S I pray with the guidance of Allah that I am grateful that Allah has awakening me to the true purpose of my life and I will held my head straight to the sky and reach for heaven.

P.P.S I will live happily both in earth and heaven. Amin. And my heart belong to Allah. Amin.

Path to Heaven's home

2010-03-27T00:33:00.000-07:00

White is the colour of pure whereas black is the colour of tainted then grey is the colour of balance. In the context of society, a human possesses both side of the coin. In addition, there is a phrase that signifies that a human is not completely evil nor a human being is a true saint. Therefore, the notion is that a human is born not perfect for a reason. In an Islam perception, every muslim have to practice Jihad but the action itself is not easy because the environment their live is full of dark temptations.That is why humans will face the test everyday so to find the piece of heaven within them. Eventually, they have to make a choice and there are only two to decide for the path of one's destiny. However, they should always remember this reminder that there is no such thing as the third choice nor more other than the two.

Back in action

2010-01-25T18:32:00.000-08:00

I'm back and with new ideas on what I'm going to post here so I will try my hardest to update my journey in this world

Oblivion equals illusions

2008-02-25T16:50:00.000-08:00

You're born with no sense of direction in your life. You keep on struggling with question regarding your puppose to live in a world full of dark secrects and you keep on believing that your nothing worth to anybody. For what's purposes you should deserve to live if you keep on having negatives thought on yourselves. If that's the case then you need to find a place that only you know that can render you from the outside or sort of like protect you from the harsh reality of the world. That you are nothing like them. So, what's your choice in a world that only give face value on first expression.

Delicious Chicken soup and Blueberry cheese cake

2007-11-09T18:49:00.000-08:00

As the above picture and title says it all. That genetic modified is semi-bad. Folks it is better to eat a variety of foods because then your body is better of accomodate with a healthy lifestyle. Seriousely, really absolutely positively beyound healthy. This is an advice to all the civiliance who are thinking of wanting an everlasting happy long healthy 70 years above life. Then yeah!!!

Another fine quiz that roars D.R.A.G.O.N

2007-11-02T19:57:00.000-07:00

I am a A Plague Dragon!Hey, I took the http://dragonhame.com online Inner Dragon quiz and found out I am a Plague Dragon on the inside.In the war between good and evil, your inner Dragon self is rotten with the stench of EVIL....When it comes to the powers of Chaos vs. those of Law and Order, your inner dragon walks a fine line between Law and Chaos....As far as magical tendancies, Magical spells come as natural to the Plague Dragon as breathe from it's body....During combat situations, a true Plague Dragon prefers to defeat opponents by the use of spells and other tactics....'' 'http://Dragonhame.Com

Anti-oxygen or what?

2007-10-31T20:14:00.000-07:00

When was the last time that you are in a need of more oxygen?
-Easy when you live less than few seconds at the moon.

What's your inner magic creature?

2007-10-30T19:58:00.000-07:00

href="http://www.wiredreflection.com/tests/magic.html"
target="new">
border=0 frameborder=0 alt="You are a Paladin!" />

Take the href="http://www.wiredreflection.com/tests/magic.html" target="new"> "How Do You Use Magic?" test! Written by Brimo

Driven insanity

2007-10-28T20:34:00.000-07:00

Had you ever had this urges to hurt people with such fatal force that it may satisfy you with ease feeling and I was wonder have you ever feel thid sensation of wanted to do such deed? I for one was having the trouble to control my anger that I ended up realising all frustration towards a door and that was a blase. On an important point I did not radiated my anger towards a human but I was wonder have you ever experience such and I was curious.

Have you ever heard the word 'RAYA'

2007-10-24T23:13:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time there lived a boy named Raya. He was a poor young man and homeless so what Iwas trying to say his a sad young man. Then one day all his misery came to an end when he befriend a girl called Hari. After that they fell in love and a decade after they got msrried. Then a year after that they gave birth to a child known as Hari Raya. Therefore every year on new year the child yelled Happy Hari Raya! Yeah, that's what I meant the word Raya.

Blinded Identity

2007-10-24T21:35:00.000-07:00

You were born with this name that your parent had given upon you and have you ever wonder what's the meaning of all of this. I for myself keep on wondering why us people should be given a name. Wouldn't it be much better if the entire population of earth live with a name then I would be happy to called you nameless or soulless and maybe tearless person. Then this world will be a better since there won't be war or famine or political issues will be ceased to be existed. This what I felt about the around us. Nothing but seemly fake happiness when you the world we live in is nothing but lies that's why is better that people live without a name.

Dreamless night

2007-10-24T21:07:00.000-07:00

When will be the time that people will feel or live in a sensation that they are no longer having a dream. The answer is daydream if you can't have dream in a night then just dream in a day.

Frozen Solitude

2007-10-23T23:19:00.000-07:00

Back when I was still at high school I was a loner back then. There was no true friends for me. It seems all I ever did was trying to please people or so called friends into liking me because I was afraid of being lonely . Therefore I shed away my true self of become something that wasn't true to myself and the truth I hate it. Likewise I was blinded by the thing that I had created upon myself. I kept on repeated this charade of illusion of mine that it nearly seem to be really thing on its own and such I denied myself from learning the truth that all I did was in fact hurting myself in the inside. Therefore I was lucky that someone manage to wake me up from this childish game of mine. So I was glad in the end I live a happy existence. Moral of the truth tale from is don't hide your truth self.

Youngers beyound yesterday of Dgrayman and I

2007-10-22T22:17:00.000-07:00

This picture make me reconcile the blissful of my childhood days. Those day I wouldn't had to worry many trivia things such as worried for my exam results, trying to reach to the expectation of my parent and etc. When I was a kid all I do was playing with my friends that we do silly things together or share practical silly or joy moments. Back then I was a happy camper...

Reaction upon Genre

2007-10-22T22:01:00.000-07:00

Have you ever witness something that might change prepective of individuals who live upon this planet that we called earth? I for one would said yes. I don't know what to think as i came upon this one particular item that make went from numb to down right curious. Let's get to the straight of the point. That was.... this was how I had been into the realms of (sweatdrop everybody) 'yaoi' genre and my reaction was screaming my lungs till it dried out and the end result I got a mild troatache. However Iwas disgusted with this genre instead I was intriguted with it because I was amased how people managed to write such unique tales. I for one in the near future would like to read or watch such genre so that I can comment on what scale this might cause to the opinion of individuals. Ah, I had one question to all the viewers what would be your reaction upon genre called 'yaoi' and the aftermath of the predicament/

Insight and Invincible

2007-10-22T21:36:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wonder when was the last time that you were giving an amzing ability to do anything that only you are the one who possessed it where as no one is capable of it. I for one wanted to have such gifted skill. If I were to wished upon a falling star then I wish to be able to turn my fantasy into a reality -just simply making it a story that people would give different sort of reaction. I was always the type of person who love to observe everyone within my optical view. No one was aware that I had always wanted to write a story that I alone will be satisfied with. Well how I wished....

Newbie in the House of Fortunes

2007-10-22T21:12:00.000-07:00

Hello, I'm new here and I hope we will make such wonderful friends in a short epoch of time. I for one will try my hardest to give the best impresstion of my protrait self.